1
00:00:00 --> 00:00:54
[North American man's voice, authoritative]
To all staff,
In these unprecedented times, Personalized Socks, Inc. remains committed to getting everyone at our company back to the office as quickly as possible following the catastrophic eruption of the Yellowstone super-volcano. We believe that an in-person environment is vital to the important work we do here, and that we have a responsibility, in this moment of crisis, to continue producing the high-quality, customizable socks that our customers expect from us.
To that end, we expect all employees back in the office as soon as the sun once again becomes visible through the dense clouds of toxic ash engulfing the continental United States. As a courtesy, we will be mailing hazmat suits (in an assortment of fun designs, of course!) to all our employees to assist in the return to work.
See you soon!
Wallace

2
00:00:55 --> 00:01:23
[North American man's voice, whiny]
Hi Terrence,
Not sure if this e-mail will reach you, but, ever since the androids gained sentience and severed all global communications with that giant electromagnetic pulse, I’ve been having a hard time logging in to Office 365, which I need for a big presentation tomorrow. Any chance you can have someone from I.T. log in to my computer to take a look?
Brett
Sent from my iPhone

3
00:01:24 --> 00:01:51
[North American man's voice, friendly]
Hi everyone,
I’d like to introduce you all to Supreme Admiral Blorg (cc’d). As you might have heard, there’s going to be some restructuring as we merge with the Galactic Corporation. For those who’ll be continuing on to Klepton with us, I’m sure we’ll be in good hands (tentacles).
Blorg, they’re all yours (figuratively and literally)!
Best of luck,
Dennis

4
00:01:51 --> 00:02:14
[North American man's voice, meek]
Hey Jeff,
Now that the Great Fire has spread from California to Missouri, I think that we should consider revising the company’s green initiative. How do you feel about bumping our carbon-neutral target date from 2070 up to 2065? Too aggressive?
Warmly,
Steve

5
00:02:14 --> 00:02:32
[North American man's voice, polite]
Hi Mallory,
I was hoping to take two days of P.T.O. before the solar storm, a.k.a. the Big One, hits so I can spend my few remaining moments on Earth with my friends and family. But no worries if not!
Best wishes,
Julian.

6
00:02:32 --> 00:02:37
[North American man's voice, serious]
Hi Rob,
I hope this e-mail finds you. Millions are still missing. 

7
00:02:37 --> 00:02:40
[solar storm sound effect]